Monday, June 27, 2005

nothing going on anymore

so right now completly unemotion go figure like anything's really changed for me to be me i'm just going to need to set back and let things happen however the people around me want them to happen but while that is happening i'm going to get another job going to get more pay going to get more hours going to do what i need to. to do what it is i need to do take care of me more money = happier life in the long run won't be easy at first but hey what ever happens happens and if the people around me can't tell i'm doing this for them then tough shit in support it or get out of the way but it would be nice to be supported instead of questioned all the time that would be a change although questioning doesnt bother me its when its over almost everything i do and after wards ends up you lied to me i just don't give a fuck anymore is anything really worth two peoples pain so deep it's not really funny go figure

so i'm sick of seeing all the shit happen and hit the fan 24/7 its annoying as hell especaily whens its about me voicing my opionion or the other person voicing there's i'm so sick and tired right now i'm sick becuase i'm depressed and have nothing to call my own or is it call ours what ever her's mine not really ours we can't even have a checking account together becuase it's more convienient that way what the fuck shakes head no more bitching just makes me feel not trusted so how can i trust someone i don't feel trusts me simple i can't not with those things anyway so i'll take care of my shit she can take care of her's because apparently that's the way she wants it got to go find the bill's now like i have a clue where there at

time to go to bed and sleep away the day if not get my job one or the other probaly the job and if i get hired today i can put in my two weeks and get the fuck out of the shit hole i'm in now i've gained at least 10lbs while sitting on my ass at this fucking place

1 Comments:

Blogger Skitz said...

I'm sorry that I contradict myself. I'm sorry that you feel I nitpick every little aspect of everything you do. I'm sorry you don't feel I'm supportive. I'm sorry I feel that if you spend too much time at work you'll never see me and we'll fall apart even worse. Not that it can get any worse than the fact that you moved out.
I'm sorry you don't see this isn't helping us. We need to be able to talk. And after talking I like to cuddle to reassure myself that you don't utterly dispise me. Apparantly my dispising myself was enough. You never would have moved out if I could have conquered my fear of you leaving me. You tell me not to hate myself, but how can I not when, in one way or another, I started this whole downward trend.
I thought I had taught myself to shove aside my fears that you'd leave me because you never had. But I guess you were just looking for a reason and I gave it to you. I love you. I miss you. Your laundry will be waiting for you to pick it up and wash it yourself since you don't need me... Please... don't continue to "foget" that you'd say you'd call. It hurts even worse to know that you're not at work and yet you still can forget completely about me.

5:23 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home