Friday, May 05, 2006

holy shit he's on

so after a god damned long time i'm writing again... no internet go fig... so i was checking all my comments because its been so long and holy shit are people fucking psyco skitz no she has her issue's and even though shit's gone bad there one day we might even be able to be friends again we both just hurt each other so much getting divorced before anything worse happend was the best thing for both of us and i think she's happier for it now but then again what the fuck would i know i haven't talked to her in months... but i wish her the best... but everyone else except ancient wings holy shit... look if you can't fucking come out and say who you are and hide in the dark your words will never mean shit and they just make me laugh. yes i know i hurt her she hurt me. shit happens i hope one day my x-wife will forgive me for my transgretions when she's able to and one day i hope i'll be able to do that for her right now i'm pretending like it never happend... and that's all there is to it... whats new... hmmmm...

well i was in a relationship for like a few months there i so fucked that one up.. but shit happens me and the chick are still friends and that's cool we just didn't work as a couple but she was an awesome fuck...

right now i'm with my roommates oldest sister k back story my roommate harr is the oldest of 8 children and there's only two boys in that "little" family the rest are all girls god help them all.. smiles... this started about two months ago... after me and my last girl friend broke up after the divorce. ok so here we go... so i had come home from my friend seans place i'd spent the week looking for work and had gotten the job at discover card and would start in april so i came home completly fucking happy. because i just scored a job with benifits from day one in training and making 11 dollars an hour plus commission you can't beat that well i can't fuck you.. anyways.. i get home his oldest sister shirley comes over to spend weekends at his place she's tweenty three an awesome chick to hang out with none jugemental fun to talk to cool as hell. over all a real good friend. she comes over to spend the weekends with my self harr daniel and jason. harr daniel jason been friends for ever dan and harr have known each other for 11 years there like bro's well 6 years ago dan and shirley dated only lasted two weeks but she came up to him at the end of that and told him hey look i think we just make better friends i just don't have those type's of feelings for you. and then his younger brother russell and shirley ended up getting together. shit happens well of coarse shit goes bad between rus and shirley and dan ends up hatting his brother because dan is madly in love with her. that ended up going to blows after like four years of built up bullshit. well for the last 6 years every year dan asks her will you go out with me and ever year she tells him no i just want to be friends i see you as a brother. and this continues and continues now to the present.

so that weekend i get back home she over there we're all just goofing off and its almost sunday well me harr and shirley end up watching a movie together harr goes to bed me and shirley are on the floor i pass out and then i guess she passed out next to me i wake up the next day kinda confused becuase i just woke up with shirley but i shrug it off.. well i notice that dan isn't his normal happy go lucky self he seems kinda pissed. so me and him end up talking and he tells me well when i saw you to together i wasn't pissed off at you or her i was pissed off it wasn't me. understandable he loves her. well it didn't mean anything to me we just fell asleep. she goes home well that monday or tuesday me and harr pick her up for work. and she's looking kinda sad we get back to her place and walk in harr goes to talk to there mom she goes down to her room and i follow her down we get into her room and i ask her hey are you ok is there something wrong. well she confides in me that this is her last weekend off she wants to spend it with her family at my place and well she can't becuase its dan's weekend off from her to get his head straght well you know i tell her look your harr's sister my friend jason's friend and sis and dans best friend if you talk to him he'll say its ok she tells me she can't do that becuase that's taking to much and he needs time on his own away from her so i'm all ok. and i leave the next day trying to be a good friend i talk to dan about it tell him whats going on so on and so forth and basicly tell him what to say. full intentions on getting them together becuase there great when there together they honestly are if you just saw them together you would honestly think they where married or some type of couple. anyways he picks her up thursday and tells her on friday he's going to kidnap her after work becuase its her last weekend off he's happy she's happy. friday rolls around he goes to pick her up i wanted to get out of the house he tells me to come with i go with we pick her up go get her cloths go to the store by food for the weekend go home he goes to bed he'd been working all day me and her stay up watching movies all night i pass out about six on the floor she ended up passing out too. next day wake up dan's in his room playing games pissed i'm freaking out cause that's twice now i'm freaking out cause of how bad it looks. so i go into his room and i ask hey man you ok he tells me no not really so i tell him hey look lets go to a movie just me and you we'll get out and have some fun fuck everyone else he tells me no so i tell him i wasn't asking we're going to a movie simple as that well nine rolls around we go see the last showing of chicken little we get out we bull shit he's feeling better i'm feeling better everything's cool we bull shit as we go home we get home and there's only one other person at the house shirley so its me shirley and dan and kinda just standing there she's over by the couch talking to me i'm talking with dan trying not to look at her keep my eye's on dan keeping her in my perifieals and finaly to brake the ice tell dan dude lets watch a movie he says yea why not they sit up on the couch dan puts in hitchhikers guide i grab my blanket lay down on the floor by my self and fall asleep with dan and shirley on the couch yes free and clear nothing can happen becuase i went to bed by my self leaving the two of them alone. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee wrong. i wake up the next morning my one hand in her pants the other hand in her shirt snuggled up to her. going what the fuck. compelty freaked out trying to figure out how the fuck everything happend i look up dan's in his room door shut he's playing video games and i can feel the tension in the house mounting already. so i get up grab jasons car keys tell him i'm going to go get a coke he says cool me and i wake her up to come with me we get out to the car and i ask her what the fuck. she tells me well i wanted to sleep with you again i like how you cuddle with me. (slaps self in head. with a baseball bat repeaditly) why i asked. and she can say is i don't know. so we pull up to the gas station i look at her and tell her. look your a great fucking person your awesome to hang out with and if it wasn't for a few things i proably would date you. she tells me ok what things. (sighs and hits him self again) well first off your brother harr. not that big of a proablem but i'd have to ask his permission and only if it was ok with him would i be able to. she says ok while smiling. next not that it is a proablem and i commend you for it becuase its so hard to find one of your kind these day's your a virgian and i'm a nympho the two don't mix one of two things would happen if we got together i'd end up fucking you. but becuase i know your waiting for marriage which is fucking awesome. i'm not getting married again and if i do it'll be after ten stright years with one person with no off and on bull shit five years where me and the person live in different places and then five years living together then after that if shit's still good we'll get married me and the person. so i'd have to be aloud to fuck other people and that's not fair in a relationship where the other person wont fuck another person so that's another reason why it wouldn't work. and she says ok and smiles.(slaps self again) and third dan he's my friend and i don't want to hurt him. and right as i say that she sighs. so i say what. its his own fault i've told him repitaldy for the last six years i don't see him that way but he just doesnt get it i don't want him and i like you so why can't i be with you.. (brakes out his knife and begains to slit own wrists and this point) look i understand that so before anything could happend he'd have to be over compelty... she sighs and says thats not fucking fair (mind you shirley isn't the swearing type) he shouldn't have any say in who i'm with i want you i don't know why i want you but i do you make me laugh and feel good about my self and i like that about you.. so why can't we at least try.. so i tell her look i have to talk to a friend and get there opinion and find out what they say she's the only one that owuld know how to handle this sitiuation . so i get home i call up ma petite ange de sang and she come's over in ten minutes we go out we talk and she tells me walk away if you don't want everyone to get hurt becuase that's whats going to happen..

part two next time i get on i'm so fucking tired i haven't slept in two days and i'm out of belladonna. so yea...